Thoughts of "The Big Day"

So, as the time approaches for "The Big Day", I have to admit that it is not without some trepidation that I face it. Reality starts to sink in - that this ever growing (the operative word being growing :-)) little one inside of me has to come out, one way or another. Somehow, the options for how that happens don't really appeal. Yes, there is the wonderful result at the end that is the outcome that everyone wants. But, I have to admit that it makes me wonder about nature and ask - couldn't they have come up with a better solution?

At this point it is still unclear as to whether I will have to do a C-Section or not - given the fibroid. In a sense it is a good thing to have that possibility in my mind as it allows me to relinquish any vestiges of "control" I might even try to assume I have over the process. It is entirely unpredictible and it challenges my desire to control situations. But I have to admit that I have been proud of myself and my ability to stay pretty laid back about that aspect. It still doesn't change the fact that I really think nature could have been a little more creative in coming up with solutions on how to get babies into this world. But, the outcome is ultimately the thing to focus on - the little baby boy I will have - however, that comes about. :-)

The Dreaded Glucose Test

So yesterday morning I went to my OB for the much anticipated and generally feared glucose test. Standard prenatal care includes testing women for diabetes later in their 2nd trimester because it is a disease that can develop due to pregnancy. It is one of those strange things that pregnancy can bring on but that disappears after your pregnancy is over - probably something that leads to some calling pregnancy a "condition". The initial test for gestational diabetes involves you fasting after midnight and then drinking glucose in the morning and having blood drawn an hour later. I have been privy to a number of conversations with friends who have been through this. I have also read about it a fair amount. Generally, the judgment is that the test is horrible and a general sense of fear develops around it. The horrible nature of the test revolves around having to drink the glucose. So yesterday when I was preparing myself for this task I am having all sorts of thoughts as to how I am going to feel etc. I opened the bottle and hesitated, stealing myself for the yucky task ahead....telling myself that it is all worth it and part of the process of becoming a mother - sacrificing for one's child.....Well, I have to report that it was not what I was expecting. In fact it was a let down. The glucose was really sweet. But not that unpleasant. The worst part was it made the back of my throat feel a little yucky and then of course there is the having blood taken part. Otherwise, it past without incident. Yes, I had a sugar high after drinking it, which made the car ride down to the doctor very interesting for Dan, I am sure. But it was basically ok. The good news is that the test came back negative today. So I am in the clear! Yay! If it hadn't been then I would have had to do a four hour fasting and glucose drinking test and that might have changed my opinion. But fortunately, I didn't have to go there. :-) I just hope that all of my "challenges" of motherhood pass the same way. Wishful thinking I am sure but I can always hope. :-)

Beginning the Third Trimester

So as of Friday, tomorrow, I begin my third trimester....It is a weird thought that I am two thirds of the way through. One that brings to the fore a variety of emotions.

First, there is a rising sense of panic about all of the things that are left to do. We are wildly researching all of the various gear we need. Organizing and decorating the nursery. Getting ready to take various baby- or birth-related classes and so on. There is a lot to get done and not a lot of time left. But it will happen. I just hope it can happen before my belly gets so huge that all I want to do is sit all day. :-)

Second, I have this feeling of nostalgia as my pregnancy begins the last chapter. Whilst there have been ups and downs, some pain, some scary moments, and definitely discomforts, so far, I really haven't minded being pregnant. There is part of me that is waiting for the other shoe to drop and my suddenly feeling miserable and ready for it to be over. That feeling, of course, could be around the corner now that the second trimester is just about over. But I am optimistic that things will continue to putter along as my belly grows and my body adjusts. Having my baby boy undulating my stomach in an ever increasing amount is exciting - he is really becoming a companion - and this leads me to the third feeling....

Third, I have this growing sense of excitement about meeting this little being. I have been excited before. But the increasing activity and very physical manifestation of his presence - the huge bulge he creates in my stomach when he turns over or stretches - makes his impending arrival all the more real. Whilst there is a sense of trepidation about how life will change forever, that feeling is mostly overwhelmed by an increasing sense of joy and anticipation of bringing this new life into the world. Recently we have had an opportunity to spend a fair amount of time with various friends who have just had babies in the last 6 weeks. At first I felt intimidated by the dependency, the sense that life changes completely. But the more time we have spent with friends, the more I have come to realize that whilst life is changed forever, it is manageable and, more importantly, it is clear how wonderful it is. The sense of love overshadows everything else. Those are the things that I choose to focus on as Dan and I enter this final phase of what has been an incredible journey.

Baby Gear and Stuff

(Note to Family: To see the strollers I am talking about in this post click on the underlined text.)
So our hunt for the right baby gear continues. First of all, the amount of gear there is for a baby is absolutely amazing. Then second of all, the number of choices there are is mind boggling. But ultimately it is about getting the gear that is the right "fit" for you.

Everyone has an opinion and it is surprising sometime how personally some people take their decisions. I am hoping that Dan and I will be able to maintain a reasonably unemotional stance when it comes to all of this because ultimately the decisions need to be what works best for you. Anyway.....back to the "stuff"....

So the gear hunt started with the stroller - umbrella versus travel system versus something in between versus the almost worshipped Bugaboo stroller. Now, on the Bugaboo, we have friends who have it and love it. But they are all NYC residents living in apartments. So they are not faced with our semi-suburban lifestyle of getting in and out of cars combined with walking a fair amount. This helped to eliminate the Bugaboo because it is really only for those in a city where there is not a lot of getting in and out of cars - the seat portion has to be removed from the base to fold it up. Plus, there is the $900 price tag that takes one's breath away. But, this leaves the panopoly of other stroller choices out there.

When we first went to look we got the lecture from the guy in the store on the most popular strollers and why etc etc. and we came away with a certain set of choices. But the process of thinking about it brought to the surface for me some of the notions I had in my head as to what my ideal stroller would be. When I was a little girl, I had one of those old fashioned baby prams that I would put dolls and cats in and push around. I realized how important it was to me to have that with my own child - the stroller, not the dolls and cats :-). (It wass like when Dan and I arranged our wedding, we knew that there were certain things that needed to be there so it felt like a wedding...) So the hunt for a pram type stroller began.

On the one hand, it had to be practical - there are new versions of the old fashioned prams out there but they are not collapsible etc. On the other, it needed to provide that wonderful, look at your baby design. We looked at a LOT of options. But I think we have found it. Very exciting! :-) It operates as a typical stroller. But then you can turn the handle around so the baby is facing you and the seat sits flat. All the things I wanted in one package! :-)

Of course, now the search begins for the perfect infant car seat. And that is a whole other story to be told another time....

Sarah & Belly @ 25 weeks

Sarah & Belly @ 25 weeks
Originally uploaded by brownorama.

So as promised, here is a picture of me and my growing belly at 25 weeks. It is something else how it can change overnight. There will be days where I don't notice a difference and then suddenly - wow! Big Change! I don't have the characteristic pregnancy waddle yet. But I suspect that is yet to come. :-) There are more pictures of me and the pregnancy at: Dan's Photo Stream on Flickr