Metrics Old and New

Harry's arrival brought with it a new obsession with numbers. By comparison, the numbers we watched during pregnancy were few and far-between: how many weeks along Sarah was. Dilation and station didn't come until the very end, and their significance was fleeting.

Pre-parenthood, there were numbers we watched, but they somehow don't carry the same weight as the metrics we carefully montior today.

There were the numbers that we knew were important but found it easier to ignore, like our respective weights, blood pressures, and cholesterol levels.

There were the numbers we were strangely obsessed with, like the amount of fiber in various comestibles.

There were the numbers that for some reason we made us feel good about ourselves, like the interest rate on our mortgage.

There were the numbers we couldn't do a whole lot about, like the car's miles per gallon.

And there were corresponding numbers that we couldn't affect and pissed us off for other reasons, like the price of gas.

And yet, these metrics lost most their (already limited) interest when Harry was born. A new set of numbers took their place:

1. Harry's weight: the most important number to us since he's had so much trouble putting on the ounces in his first few weeks. I'm proud to say that he broke 8 pounds over the weekend.


2. Harry's meals: Sarah's been recording start times and durations for each breast. Because of his weight-gain issues, we needed to make sure Harry was getting at least 8 feedings a day for at least half an hour.


3. Sarah's milk production: Last week, Sarah starting using the breast pump and giving Harry a bottle once or twice a day. Bottle feeding is, for better or worse, more efficient than breast feeding, but it appears to satisfy the baby less. On the other hand, as Sarah pumps more and Harry eats more, we see more and more milk in the collection bottles.


4. Harry's poops: Nothing speaks to what's going in more than what's coming out. We've learned to distinguish between Little Poos and Big Poos, Recordable Poos vs. Incidental Poos. Poo ontology is very complicated, and the baby care classes really skimped on poo education.

In the coming years, this list will only get longer. We're *those* kinds of parents.

Letter to Harry from Daddy (One Month)

Dear Harry,
I'll try to do a letter like this for each month, capturing my thoughts and feelings as you progress into personhood. Like Stephen Colbert, I'll provide a Word in each letter that more or less defines a theme for the month. This month's word is EFFICIENCY.

You're only one month old, so there's not a whole lot to report on your progress. At this moment, you seem more like a never-ending supply of bodily functions, as if a novelty company created the perfect machine to generate any sound imaginable. It's clear that you have no sense of efficient resource management, seeing as how you're prepared to pee profusely immediately following a diaper change. Diapers don't grow on trees, bub.

We can see the tiny person in there waiting to get out. Every day you hold our gaze or grab a toy a little longer. We'll put you down on the playmay, a quilt decorated with a Noah's Ark scene and criss-crossing poles that suspend brightly-colored toys, and you enjoy a solid 45 minutes entertained. Of course, you're staring at yourself in the build-in mirror, but engaged is engaged regardless of how much it's fueled by vanity.

We're really happy with your pediatrician, who thinks you're a great baby. (Evidently, we're paying the premium rates that buy us unsolicited adulation and kvelling.) Despite a slow start to gaining weight, you are clearly active and happy, and the doctor thinks you're going to be a sweet kid. (Or, perhaps your grandmother calls him daily to remind him.) For me, parenthood has made it clear that while the pediatrician can treat your physical ailments, he has an important job treating mummy and daddy's emotional ones. He's helped us control our worry and provided reassurance where we needed it. He's asked us to build on our strengths and showed us where we can find confidence.

Your favorite thing to do these days is eat. It's clear that you tolerate sleeping as a necessary evil, but really feel it gets in the way of the important things in life. Namely, mummy's boobs. Your mum and I have mixed feelings whenever we see your enthusiastic grimace in the moment before latching on and sucking for dear life. The joy is clearly palpable, and mummy and I are glad you've found something that makes you happy, but wish there were things we could do to make you that happy. On the other hand, when you fall asleep in my arms and we can nap together, you make me that happy, and I really can't ask for much more.

In the last couple days, we've given you a bottle for one or two feedings instead of the boob. This lets mummy rest a bit and is somewhat more efficient in feeding you. I'm telling you this not because I'm judging you or want you to feel guilty, but because I want you to have a clear picture of your first month: when you're on the breast, you're a bit of a lazy sucker. There's a look of profound dispair on your mother's face when you go through a bottle in five minutes after she's spent twenty minutes pumping. Both breasts. In the back of our heads, we know that the same meal would have taken 70-80 minutes if you had been breastfeeding. I don't know about your mum, but I'm going on the assumption that you're a guy who likes to take his time with enjoyable experiences, but recognizes that there's a time and place for efficiency.

And that's the Word.

In the short month I've had to get to know you, I realize that I can barely remember a time in my life before your arrival, and I can't picture any moment of my future without you.

Always remember, your daddy loves you.

The Things We Don't Want to Forget

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Originally uploaded by brownorama.

The first four weeks have flown by. Harry has grown and is turning from a newborn into a baby. It is wonderful and overwhelming all at the same time. We are realizing that the sleep deprevation combined with biology conspire to ensure one starts to forget the details of those first wonderful, mind-blowing weeks. So here are our attempts to remember some of the things we don't want to forget:
- The overwhelming maternal feelings when Harry came out into the world and Dr Thompson put him on my chest. He lay there and made the same movements on my chest as he did when he was inside my belly. But now he made all of these little cooing noises that made me cry.
- How beautiful the weather looked on the day he was born.
- How grateful I was to Dan and Mummy for all of their support and help during the labor. I couldn't have done it without them.
- The feeling at the hospital - most of time we spent in the labor and delivery room we were laughing and joking - the time in the postnatal ward was also mostly happy, we had music playing and it was a little cocoon of love.
- How the pediatrician came to visit us at midnight the night that Harry was born.
- How I felt when they took Harry away to be circumsized...the first time I felt truly helpless
- How I felt when we put Harry skin-to-skin with me, he slept, and then woke up and rooted until he found my breast to feed.
- How Harry's eyes looked sapphire blue in the first weeks.
- The wave of emotions that came over me in those first days in the hospital - love for my baby, for my husband, anticipation, mixed in with trepidation.
- How excited we felt coming home from the hospital.
- The amazing job my body did bringing this little being into the world - it is still changing even now and it has developed the ability to keep feeding him now that he is in the world with us.
- When my milk came in, and Harry realized it, how excited he started looking when I put him on my breast - arms outstretched and shaking, eyes wide and full of anticipation, and little excited grunts - made the pain worth it for the first time. :-) Harry does love the boobies. :-)
- The first time I had skin on skin contact with Harry - this little being lying on me as babies have for all time.
- The moment we could distinguish between the "I'm hungry" cry and the "I've just peed on myself" cry.
- The new feeling of waking up suddenly because you want to make sure the baby's OK.
- Returning home and noticing how everything in our house has fur on it.
- How proud we felt when Harry learned to take the pacifier. Who knew that a baby opening his mouth could engender such feelings. :-)
- The first time it really dawned on us that we are a family and will be from now on. Such a wonderful thing!