Reaching, Touching and Seeing

Our minds are funny things. Without a better way of understanding how they work, we imagine them to be physical spaces, and we store information in particular areas. A new baby in the house makes it easy to see how we might arrive at this conclusion. Harry's development is fast and visible: changes in his behavior are obvious and have a clear impact on his interactions with us and the world.

This morning, per usual, Sarah called my cell phone to ask for a couple more hours sleep. I retrieved Harry from our bedroom and brought him to the breakfast room, where I've been working this morning. I carried him around with me, picking up a few things (charger for cell phone, stuffed animals, car seat). I put him in his car seat and left him with a couple stuffed animals. As I placed him there, he noticed my striped shirt, mesmerizing for adult and baby alike. (Maybe I should change it before going out?) But, he never made eye contact with me.

Harry's interest in tactile experiences has blossomed in the last week. I watch him handle his stuffed animals, more than just grabbing and aiming for the mouth. The other day, I was trying to get him to sleep and it was interesting to see that holding his Pooh-bear rattle was just as comforting and relaxing to him as rocking in his seat and sucking the pacifier.

Back to this morning: During all this settling down, it was clear he didn't know it was me carrying him around. For all I know, he thought this disembodied striped shirt was taking care of everything. Even after putting him in the carseat next to me, he was more focused on the cat and his stuffed animals.

At one point, he noticed one of his toys, Blueface the Monkey, stuck between his leg and the edge of the carseat. Harry reached his hand to grab it, but it was too far. He continued to reach, so I moved it closer and he picked it up. It was satisfying, as his dad, to watch him make the connection between seeing, wanting, and taking.

Shortly thereafter, he finally made eye contact. A look of recognition spread over his face, a smile that's as addictive to me as any drug. Once he knew I was there, he could easily return his gaze to me. It was as if his mind established a picture of the space and knew where to direct his eyes in order to see me again.

Like the cooing and reaching for his feet and rolling over, these little changes in his behavior add up to an emerging personality, one that I can't wait to see develop further.

HOT OFF THE PRESS! Harry Rolls Over and Puts His Feet in His Mouth!

Harry and Mummy
Originally uploaded by brownorama.

So the last two days have been big milestones in the Holden-Brown household. Yesterday Harry rolled over completely for the first time. He has rolled partially before. But yesterday was the first one where he went from beginning to end rolling over all by himself. He looked very proud of himself when Mummy giggled with glee and told him what a clever boy he was. Then to top things off, Harry put his feet in his mouth for the first time today. He has been wanting to put them in his mouth for a while now and he finally went the last few inches and did it today! Again, his eyes lit up at Mummy and Daddy's squeals of joy! :-) There are periods one goes through as a parent where you start to wonder - will he ever do that....what are we doing wrong....and then suddenly everything clicks and your pride and joy suddenly figures things out. Rolling over is a big one developmentally and we can't be more excited! :-)

Changing Body Image

There is nothing like pregnancy and labor to change one's body image. Prior to conceiving and giving birth to a child I had a very one dimensional sense of my body. A sense that was very much influenced by the media and common notions of the body as something to be used primarily as a way to attract the opposite sex. Enter carrying another human being inside you and bringing that person into the world and that view is turned on its head. This is not to say that I no longer consider myself a sexual being. But now I have a whole new respect for my body. Pregnancy was a window on this new view. But giving birth just blew the window out of the wall and opened up a completely different vista. I remember writing in this blog about how it was dawning on me that the baby inside of me was going to have to come out one way or another and neither of the ways were particularly attractive. Well, obviously, given the arrival of Harry, he used one of those entrances/exits. The fact that my body was able to transform itself to allow that entrance/exit is mind blowing. It is a little bit like the mental equivalent of watching the transformation of a character in a scifi movie when they have been infested by an alien and are now turning into one. But what I have come to realize over the last few months is that my body continues to amaze. Breasts have come to take on a whole new meaning. Prior to Harry, they were appendages. Decoration. Now they are the sole means of nourishing my child. In this plastic wrapped-pasteurized-grocery store world that we live in, we generally are very much removed from so up close and personal a view of nature and the cycle of life. Some people are uncomfortable with being reminded sometimes. For me, there was the woman at the National Gallery who rolled her eyes as I quietly and demurely (I might add) sat on a bench breastfeeding Harry under a blanket. What is sad about those types of reactions is that they are closing themselves off from the miracle of it all. As a society we have become so caught up in technological advances and trying to control our environment that it is easy to loose sight of the wonder of nature and how we are a part of it. Everytime Harry nuzzles in for his next meal, I am reminded and I am amazed at my body's ability to nourish my child. It isn't an experience I would trade for the world. It also puts into perspective the little bits of flab here and there left over from the pregnancy or times prior. It all becomes like rings on a tree - vestiges of times past and wonderful reminders of what the body can do.